Have you ever wondered what might be written in those crazy pamphlets on Emma's desk? After today, I think I might have a pretty good idea.
If you have a few minutes to kill and are in a place where it's safe to laugh and/or weep, take a look at this. "This" being an honest to goodness pamphlet my son brought home from the school counselor. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.
Please bear in mind that this was written by professionals. TWO professionals, even. And in complete earnest. My favorite part is the unintentional innuendos. See if you can spot them!





Can you not picture this as a pamphlet on Emma's desk? The cover would read, "The Golden Rule: Give it to Others as You Would Like to be Given It." She could offer one to Karofsky. Or maybe Sue.
Clearly, the issue at hand is not the content so much as the execution.
I imagine that these two intrepid linguists sat down to write, got their introduction hammered out, then realized the introduction pretty much covered everything they had to say...
Counselor #1: "Shoot! We still have five more panels to fill!"
Counselor #2: "No worries--just break out the thesaurus!
Counselor #1: "Brilliant! If we also switch the words around in each paragraph, we can repeat ourselves indefinitely. I bet no one will even notice."
Counselor #2: "Let's throw in some slang words as well. Kids love those."
And so on. And thus. Furthermore. And so it was. The end!