The Kurt Locker

Day 24: Britney/Brittany/ Day 25: Grilled Cheesus


Yes, I'm behind on my posts. A computer glitch left me stymied Thursday night. Then last night, a friend called, wanting to hang out and watch a movie or something. "Something" turned out to be a double feature of "Britney/Brittany" and "Grilled Cheesus". My friend has seen Season 1(at my behest), but not Season 2, probably due at least in part to my obvious dismay about the direction the show was taking.  My vision was that I would watch with my friend, follow up the viewing with a lively, enlightening discussion and I would then blog about it. Sort of a fun deviation from the norm, right? Well, what ended up happening is we watched, had a discussion, and then I came home and sat up all night wondering what the heck is wrong with me for being so committed to something that invoked both shock and horror in someone I care about and admire. I considered ditching this project, but I'm going to try and finish for myself. I say for myself, because I have no idea what is going to come out, and whatever it is, it probably won't be popular.

I'm not going to do proper write-ups of these episodes at this moment in time. I just don't have it in me. What I will say is that these two episodes caused feelings in me I'd never experienced before while watching Glee. More firsts, but this time, not the good kind.  These episodes marked the first  time I was actually embarrassed to call myself a Gleek. The first time I felt the need to apologize to my friends for inviting them over to watch. The first time I felt insulted by the writers; that they deliberately opted for shock value vulgarity over clever writing. This was the first time I felt violated; that watching left me feeling cheap and tawdry. And the first time I realized, through the haze of adoration, that the show was not actually plot or character-driven at all, but rather, whim-driven. Why else would they change history and characters more often than Kurt changes clothes? Did they think I was stupid and wouldn't remember? Emma didn't dump Will because he was boring! She dumped him because he CHEATED ON HER. And the sweet, dynamic kids we met last season? Where did they go? I hardly recognized them anymore, and it hurt my heart.

This was also the first time the creators took something sacred to me and made it an hour-long joke. And to what end? No apparent character evolution took place. No one was really any better off. Along with Finn, my faith was shaken. Not my faith in the divine, but my faith in the OTHER creators. The creators who gave us the world of Glee. And in the absence of faith, there is fear. Suddenly, for the first time, I was afraid. Had I been wrong to believe? What would happen next? Was this world I'd grown fond of and comfortable in slipping away?

Now, from its inception, this world was never perfect. Far from it, in fact. The environment was not safe for everyone, and discretion was necessary, but it made a great number of people very happy. I spent time with several thousand of these contended residents when I attended Glee Live in May. There were people old and young, male and female, from all walks of life. I remember in particular a grandmother there with her granddaughter, who looked to be about 10. And I thought how great it was to be part of something that brought generations together, opening hearts and minds through shared music and laughter. Seeing these episodes for the first time, I thought of those two people again, of them watching together. And I couldn't picture it.

Here's the thing about faith, and even if Finn doesn't get it, I do. Faith isn't about instant gratification. It's about sticking with something you believe in even when it gets hard. Even when things don't go the way you want them to. Faith is about believing that eventually, things will work out for the best, whatever the 'best' might be. My faith has been shaken, and a degree of trust has been lost. But I'm not ready to give up yet.


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